A Little Update

I’ve been slacking off on the whole blog thing. I’ve been thinking a lot lately; I finally found what I love to do and what makes me happy. My zodiac signs even agree with me, lol. I’m the Aries Ram, Chinese Tiger, Mars and Fire. What are you? On my journey, I am finding myself. I learn who I am and what I can be. It’s amazing. I see all these people sell themselves short. Why? Why do you not strive for greatness? Why do you settle? Why don’t you want more? I don’t get why some people do, but I guess that’s what they want to see. My parents have started getting more into my lifestyle. 🙂 My mom now stands up for me when people say things and make comments. It makes me smile, even though I’ve learned to block out all the “noise”. I’ve started to share more with her day by day. It’s slow, but it’s a lot better than we started. I can already see her face when I win my first competition. 🙂 My dad has set up for me to meet a model to get me started in MY fitness modeling career tomorrow. I seriously cannot wait. 🙂 Everything is kind of falling into place for me. It’s not all perfect ,but it’s awesome. And that’s all that matters. I’m still trying to get leaner and build more muscle. I’ll be doing that my entire life, so it’s not all coming by next week. I’ve gained 10 pounds of muscle right now. Oooohh! And none of my clothes fit right…
Fit girl probs: You get a tiny waist with big glutes and big hammys. You screwed for most clothes!
Anyways, I’ll be back to normal blogging. I would love my blog to be the next big thing. So if you know people who would enjoy reading it, let em know! Thanks!
Don’t forget to check ou tmy Visalus link!!

The Secret

What do you want out of your life? Where do you see yourself? If you could do and have anything, what would it be?
If you tell yourself your dreams are impossible, they are.
If you always say that’s way too much money for shoes, you will never get shoes.
If you look at yourself in the mirror and wish you were someone else, you will never accept who you are.
If you fill your mind with negative thoughts, that is all to come.

STOP. I know that somewhere inside of every person, young or old, they have dreams, wishes and goals. Never stop. Never accept something that isn’t true. Don’t let yourself live through a life pounding yourself down. Change. Change your mind. And you will see amazing differences.

For the longest time, I just want that rocking hot body. I didn’t really care too much about anything else. But what I found is that my dream body is just one of the small pieces that will fit in my puzzle. There are a ton of things that make up a person. It all just isn’t the physical appearance; even if you want it to be. I’m retraining my mind in every aspect of my life. And that is what will allow me to put all the pieces of my puzzle together. It’s all in my head, and soon it will all show throughout my life. My dreams, goals and wishes will all come true. I believe they will. I know they will. I see it. I feel it. Sooo what’s the secret? How did Thomas Edison and Henry Ford become who they are? How do miracles happen? How do you feel with your mind? I know. I do. If you don’t believe me it’s your lose. If you want to stand in your spotlight, do it. I dare you. You stand in yours, and I’ll stand in mine. And we will shine to be the brightest of them all.

Watch.. The Secret.
Watch.. Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting.
Listen to.. Your Body.
Read.. Think & Grow Rich.
Research.. The Miracles.
Share.. Your Secret.

All Fear Is False Emotion Appearing Real

I got home Sunday night. And yes I got straight on my treadmill. 🙂 This trip was very hard for me. It was hard for my mind. I’m usually doing something to improve my body. At the lake, I had nothing. It was so quiet and peaceful; I missed my normal life. I couldn’t stand just sitting around doing nothing. It hurt. I was emailing Casey back and forth the entire trip. I was terrified that everything I had worked for fell apart. I was terrified that I gained body fat right back. It was like a death trap. I kept seeing a distorted image of myself. I would go in the bathroom and look in the mirror bursting into tears. It wasn’t me. I’ve lost everything. I’ve become huge and gigantic. I looked at myself one time and thought I had gained 30 pounds. It was the second day there. I just saw distorted images of myself everywhere. It’s like I didn’t even see real people; I just saw myself 1,000 times everywhere I went.

I was sooo stressed.

I was resisting the trip and all that went with it. Doing nothing felt best at times; just sitting in silence. Fearing what would happen next; if I would ever be able to reach my dreams. I put so much on my shoulders; I couldn’t bear it. When I would get an email back from Casey, something always lite up inside. A little feeling of hope to help me keep going. She told me, “ALL FEAR IS FALSE EMOTION APPEARING REAL.” That stumped me! What did it mean? I spent 10 days rereading those 7 words. I couldn’t get anything out of it… until Sunday night. She reminded me that I have what it takes, I know what it takes, nothing is a mistake, I’m never going back to the fat days and to BREATH. Inhale and exhale; something I wasn’t doing much of.

Keeping to myself lets my imagination run wild. Free. Let’s me see myself on stage winning next summer. Let’s me hear them call out my name. Let’s me run my hands across all the pictures from my shoots. It lets my dreams become my reality. It takes away every bit of “noise” and shuts it all out. It’s just me.

This was probably one of the hardest things for me lately. I was unhealthy emotionally and mentally; trying to ignore all my feelings and to just enjoy last week. I felt as if no one was on my side. I felt alone. I felt lost. I felt hopeless. I felt that I had no control on my life.

Sunday night, I watched THE SECRET. It changed my life.

Don’t Matter What Time; It’s Cardio Time

Just about 4 hours until I have to wake up to do fasted cardio. Yay! At least I’ll have my 7 hours of sleep in the car. Debating to make my brownies for my early breakfast or just plain yogurt? Choices, choices… I’m not going to have a computer from the next week, so my blog will have to wait. I will have many things to say when I get back. The last things I have to pack are my secret goods (food). My numbers changed again tonight. I’ve been eating way too much protein. Sooo, I need more carbs! Like a lot more! That’s the best part! I love carbs; they taste like perfection.

NEW NUMBERS

Training days are 114g protein, 29g fat and 258g carbs. And as many veggies as I can take! 🙂

Just cardio days are 114g protein, 23g fat and 179-200g carbs!

Those numbers are awesome. Can’t wait to see the changes that are gonna be made now.

Look At Transformations

Today, I’ve been packing and baking for my trip tomorrow. I’ve been feeling a little more tired than usual today. I’m ready to kill my workout tonight though; ready to burn, ready to sweat all this fat. I say that.. I know I’m not obese or fat-fat. I’m skinny fat trying to get shredded, so when I say I’m ready to rip the fat of my body… I mean it… I have a goal that I’m going for. So basically I just have some work to do, lol. I’m not going for unhealthy and starving. I’m going for defined, shredded and beautiful. You’ll see when I upload progress pictures. 😉

I’ve been looking at tons of transformations on today. They are so amazing. There are so many people trying to get in shape. They all have different goals and stories. It’s really inspirational. I plan to post my on their website when I get done with my transformation. My transformation is from the inside out. Overall body; not just what you see. I’ve been working on training my mind to see things differently and look at new perspectives. You only have one body. Treat it right. Don’t let the little things get to you. Life is too important. I want to live as freely as I can. I choose to listen to my body. Understand what it is saying without words. I know when it craves water or its craving for an adrenaline rush; even when it needs to rest. I feel it throughout every muscle in my body. I hear it. I listen to it. Learn to put your body of your mind. Let your body speak to you instead of your mind trying to stop it. Relax. Free your mind. Listen to your body.

Getting Leaner!

Guess what?! Yesterday, I found out that I had lost another 3% in body fat! Yay! My numbers are going down, and I’m getting so excited. As of last night, I am 23% body fat. I still have a lot to go, but I’m a lot better than I was to start with. My goal is to be down another 10% by the end of August. I can do it. I know I can. It just means I get to keep getting up early to do fasted cardio, keep my diet strict and do more cardio before bed. I’m still doing all my workouts; I just find choosing to do fastened cardio a lot harder. It sucks going to bed hungry some nights; then waking up and going to do cardio with no food. The thing is… it is magic! Fasted cardio is literally magic, and it’s going to help me reach my goal. There is just something that triggers my body in it. Trust me, some mornings I dread getting on the treadmill and just think that this is so boring. I just walk on full incline for 30 minutes, morning and night. Oh, and I stare at a lake because the treadmill is in the garage. But I just turn Pandora on and jam out. Usually, I’ll be on Instagram, checking out fitness pages. Haha, helps pass the time. It is really nothing. So easy and so magical. It’s my new best friend. I’m shredding all this fat and I can’t wait to see the end result. My Christmas present this year is going to be my 6-pack! I seriously can’t wait.

I’m going out-of-town tomorrow morning. Early! Which means getting up even earlier to do some fasted cardio baby! Can’t wait. 🙂 I’m packing a lot of food. I always do. Not a shocker. I spent this morning baking some protein bars in case of emergency. ALWAYS BE PREPARED OR YOU WILL FAIL! They look so yummy! I plan to workout everyday and still do fasted cardio. It won’t be hardcore or on a treadmill; it will work. There is no time to get off track. IT’S MY CRUNCH TIME! TIME TO SHRED. TIME TO BUILD. TIME TO BRING IT!

What Do You See?

Ever feel like your not accepted? Or that your always doing something wrong? Truth is… I still don’t feel fully accepted. And I always feel like I’m doing something wrong. I’m not perfect. I’m not Barbie now. People think they know exactly what goes on in my life: eat SUPER healthy, workout and have no fun! That’s what I usually get. And to me, it just makes everyone seem really dumb. I don’t eat raw veggies and stare at a tree all day. I do things in life. FUN things! Maybe waking up early to do fasted cardio on a treadmill and stuffing your face with a pan of healthy brownies after isn’t your number one idea of fun, but it’s one of mine. I’m not like most teens. I don’t really care who is dating who. Or what party you went to last week. Or what time is a good time to call so and so. When is any of that really going to matter? Just shut up about it! If you don’t want to listen to me talk about the kind of stuff I like; I don’t want to listen to you talk about who knows what. Just saying.

Sometimes I wish my parents would try to get to know me better. We don’t always get along. We kind of just go through spurts. It sucks. I feel like every time I open my mouth to talk about how my body fat is going down, or that I’m lifting heavier weights; even when I say something about food it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall that doesn’t hear me. I know my mom still wishes I was cheering this year, but I’m not. I don’t want to. I liked cheering; it was fun traveling and being with friends. But I always dreaded the practices, I always complained about this and that. I don’t have a future in cheering. It’s not really for me. I want to be a fitness model more than anything. I want to compete in shows for the best body figure. I want to be on magazines. I want to be THE FITNESS GIRL! Like, THE, where everyone knows about me!! I wish she would just see that. I don’t want to cheer competitively. I want to go my route. I am. I will. I will do whatever it takes, but I feel like I’m doing it alone. I have Casey, but that’s about it. My dad thinks I’m weak. He doesn’t know how strong I am; he’s never seen me do anything for my strength. I could show him if he’d let me. I wish they would open their eyes and see that I’m not the girl that they wanted me to be. I’m just me. A jacked fitness diva striving to get lean and shredded, so I can compete and model. No matter what, I will find a way to this. I have to, because it’s one of my DREAMS!

Before Casey Shipp…

Casey Shipp is a WFBB Pro and an ISSA Trainer. She is MY trainer. And I couldn’t thank her enough. She has helped me emotionally, physically and mentally. Training isn’t just to be able to go into the gym and lift a 200 pound dumb-bell. It’s overall growth in your entire body and mind. She has helped me see things that I never would have on my own. I can’t say how grateful I am to have her in my life.

So before Casey, I had just joined my first full year competitive cheer team at Stingray All-Stars. Which meant CROP TOPS! Great… Now what girl really feels super comfortable walking around in a short skirt and a crop top. Trust me, many girls would love to walk around like that. How many really feel comfortable doing it? That is the question. I didn’t. For sure, I was always kinda chubby.. maybe full looking. But not skinny. I spent the entire year of 7th grade shoving my mouth with giant chocolate chips cookies wearing hoodies so no one could see my fat rolls. Yeah, so nutritious. I ate like everyone else though. Bring on the junk! The summer between 7th and 8th grade. I told myself that if I cheer at Stingrays, I needed to lose some weight. Well guess what?! I did! I lost over 30 pounds. I was almost under 90 pounds when I first got hospitalized. Well to make this a whole lot shorter, I ended up starving myself to get “skinny”. I was hospitalized 5 times during 2 months. I was out of school for 38 days. When I finally got back into school, I was the weird girl who didn’t eat. Well again to shorten it up, I started to have a binge eating disorder. Great.. I starved myself; then ate everything I saw. Seriously, I ate an entire box of Costco cookies in an hour. There were like 20 big ones! That was just a PRE-SNACK. But that was life, I tell ya. Eating again felt so good. But eating what I was again.. didn’t feel so good. I just wanted to be skinny!! I just wanted people to be jealous of MY body instead of other people’s. I asked my mom if I could go to a nutritionist. A family friend told us that they used Casey for “physical therapy”, but that she was a nutritionist. We contacted her and set up a time to meet. Well, she wanted me to write down everything that went into my mouth for a week before I saw her. I was so pissed. I wanted to see her the next day. I didn’t want to wait. I starved myself once and wrote down everything I ate.. I could do it again. It’d be so much easier than waiting a week. That is what I told myself… No, it wouldn’t. Why did I ever think that? Because I knew everything. That’s why! Great thinking I had. Well, I ate that week just like all the other days I was binge eating. When I first saw her, she freaked me out. I remember how awkward I felt. She went through my food log. I would have at least 3 granola bars at lunch.. Three! Plus, a bunch of other crap. That was bad. I was so intimidated by Casey. I wanted her body. I wanted her job. I wanted her help. I wanted it all. I just didn’t want to admit it. But I got on a meal plan and stuck to it. Started working out here and there. I felt a little bit better. Then I stopped for a while, just went back to my “normal” life. Casey had moved to Florida. I decided to cheer a second season at Stingrays. Yeah… started my freshman year of high school. Well, I was skinnier than I was to start with. Good job Anna! I did it. No, I didn’t do it. I didn’t change my lifestyle. I just went on another eating adventure. Casey said that her plan is a lifestyle not a diet. A LIFESTYLE!!! Well, that didn’t work for me to good. I failed. But I wanted to try again, so bad. I wanted to make it a lifestyle. She was gone though. I wanted her to come back so much. I would watch her videos on YouTube at night trying to get something. I just missed her. She was one of the first people who treated me normal after I got done starving myself. Everyone else was just weird around me like I was wearing a post-it on my head saying FREAK THAT DOESN’T EAT. She was rough on me. But I didn’t see it until she left; that she was rough on me, because she knew I could be better. God, I missed her.

Casey texted me in the fall saying that she moved back and I could start training with her again. I can’t tell you how happy I was when I read that text. Fireworks went off baby!! Just kidding, I was really happy though! 🙂 I started training with her again this January and have been ever since. Long in the short of it, I’m not stopping. I’m getting results. I’m changing my life. I’m loving my body. I love my food. I love to eat. No more starving. No more being depressed. I love life right now. I’m really happy. I’m getting jacked! And it’s awesome! Knowing that I’m Casey’s little jacked diva is so worth it! I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for what I have now. I chose to train this year instead over cheer. I’m gonna be ripped next year y’all. Everyone will be invited to my gun show.

It took me awhile to admit most of these things. The hardest one to admit was that I actually starved myself. I admitted that just about a month ago. Everyone around me knew it; I just didn’t want to believe. If you are ever on the verge of having an eating disorder, GET HELP! Listen to your friends and family. You are worth so much. You can overcome any obstacle. My advice is to FIND SOMEONE THAT LISTENS AND GET HELP!

Am I That “Different”?

Loving.. Yes!
Caring.. Yes!
Funny.. Sometimes! 😉
Cute.. I’d say so!
Will-Powered.. Def!
Different.. Yeah.

Everyone is different. If everyone was the same, life would be pointless and boring. I WANNA BE DIFFERENT! Some of family and friends say I have changed a lot since I workout “all the time”. I have changed. I’ve dropped a lot in body fat! 🙂 Weigh-In again tomorrow.. Yay!! I cut my hair really short. I don’t wear makeup anymore. I go to bed pretty early now. But I havn’t changed being me! I’ve made some choices that people don’t really understand. I don’t understand all of them. But I know for there is a reason for everything. I don’t spend the nights out all the time because I enjoy waking up early and do HIIT workouts on the tredmill. If I could tie a rope to my tredmill and drag it everywhere I go, I’d already be on that! But I can’t. If I could sit at the pool everyday in the summer and eat donuts, icecream, and goldfish, I would. But I can’t. If I could change any of the choices I’ve made, I wouldn’t. I can’t, it’s too late. And I don’t regret any of them. I said that I can’t to all these things, because it’s true. But let me tell you what I CAN do. I CAN spend the night, even the week if you ask me too! I’m not going to pull all nighters every night and eat all your junk food. I’ll pack my own and set alarms for me to get up early and go running. I can def make it work. I CAN sit at the pool most of the day. Again, bring all my food. Maybe even bring a book. But I’ll be doing laps in the pool when you aren’t looking. 😉 If I could look at my best friend and tell her I’m sorry, I would. Even now, for the choice I made. I was trying to do the right thing, but there probably wasn’t one. I never wanted to leave you. You are truly my sister and NO ONE will ever replace you. Even though I made the choice I did, it doesn’t change anything. I’m still your little sister. I’m still gonna be there. Believe it or not, there’s a few more things we now get to do. We just both have two schools now. Two homecomings a year. Four Proms. And much more. I promise you, it own’t be as bad as it seemed. You will always be my number one. And I will always look up to you. It’s me and you forever.

I have changed. I plan to keep changing. Out of everything, I’m finally becoming me. I’m doing what I love. Even when otheres don’t. I feel free to be me. I use to hide. I was scared my family and friends wouldn’t accept me. Now… Who GAF! I don’t! They love me for me! Well, they better. Or it’s all their loss. I’ve made huge gains during my journey and huge sacrifices. In the end, I wouldn’t have done anything different. I like being me, the different me.

Dreams Do Come True

Don’t you ever just zone out and think about your future? Knowing that all your dreams had come true? I do, all the time! I have set my dreams high where they seem unreachable. But they are. You just have to have a plan. You have to have the right MINDSET! All my dreams won’t come true in a few days or even a year. They are long-term. I want to prove something to people. I want to inspire as many people as I can. I have my dreams listed in my phone and in my room. The list will continue to grow as I get closer to my dreams. Never give up. Even when you think you’re alone or you have the fattest chance of achieving your dreams. You can do it. You wouldn’t have thought about it, if you didn’t think you had a chance. Never let your fear stop you. Fear is just an excuse; a “feeling” of being scared. You’re suppose to be scared of your dreams!! If you aren’t, either your dreams aren’t big enough or you don’t think you are worth it to do something so amazing. You are worth it. You are more than worth it. Give it to yourself to accomplish your dreams or deepest “fears”. You won’t regret; you will be the one of few people that acutally get to say: I did it! I lived my dreams! I defeated my fears! I won me! I would love to share my dreams with you all.

WHEN I TURN 18, I WANT TO COMPETE IN THE WFBB SHOW AND WIN MY PRO CARD.

I WANT TO BECOME A FITNESS MODEL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD DOING FITNESS PHOTO SHOOTS.

I WANT TO BE ON THE FRONT OF AN OXYGEN MAGAZINE.

I WANT TO OPEN MY GYM WHERE I CAN TRAIN ADULTS AND KIDS ABOUT FITNESS AND NUTRITION.

I WANT TO LIVE ON THE BEACH IN HAWAII.

Notice that all my dreams say, I WANT? Yeah? Well, that’s perfectly ok! You are suppose to WANT things. These are MY dreams that I wish to fulfill one day! I know I will. Because I’m not going to turn away from my dreams. Obstacles could be thrown in my way.. Great. More parts of my story! I don’t except my dreams to be easy. I don’t want them easy. I want to work for them. It makes them 10 times more worth it. Don’t let people tell you your dreams are stupid or a waste of time or even that they are unrealistc. Maybe your dreams are unrealistic for anyone else! Follow YOU. Run YOUR life! Make YOUR dreasm come true! YOU are worth it.